There's really no hopeAnother month has passed and you're still on my mind
I would think after so much time it would get easier,
But it hasn't. Little things remind me of you, even when I try not to
It makes me sad and that's not how I want to feel
So I decided to write again and get you out of my head
Even if it's just for a little while.
My moments of nothingness make me feel alone
But I still prefer it to moments filled with what ifs and have nots
Regret is a terrible thing,
Touching heaven even worse
I wonder if that was my one chance at happiness.
My one chance at being complete
My fear is that it was and now it's gone
What can I do now?
I don't know if you deserve a second chance.
Given you chance to change, but it seem like nothing.
More and more things happened that you know too.
Things will spread, So you can't bluff through my mind.
So i will let you be whatever you wanted to be.
And I do know that you and my soul craves it
To find another love, another soul mate
Is that even possible?
But I keep moving on, It's all I can do.
I have to remember to breath in and breath out
It use to be so natural, but Now it feels like burden
I think I'm flawed, Broken in a way that I can't figure out
I don't know how to fix it and wonder if it can be fixed
I've forgiven you, but I can't forgive myself.
So more time will pass
Day after day, it's all the same to me
I'm not who I was before and I'm not who I want to be
I don't know what I am
I'm just alone, empty, sad
So here it is, another poem you'll never get to read
And I'll still pour my heart out.
Missing you @ 1/27/2010 05:45:00 PM
I know it wont happen and never.Something’s never change,
Even when things get old,
There still exist the little things,
the lies and deceit.
Broken hearts and truth never told,
yearning for a kiss and someone to hold,
something’s never change.
Wanting to be your one and only,
At times you left me cold and lonely,
But today is a new day,
Nobody to blame,
Something’s never change.
But starting from tomorrow,
I'll spread a clean sheet over my heart,
There still exist the little things,
the lies and deceit.
I will cry no more,
Beginning my new life and opening another door.
Tears streaming down my face,
as I see you walk away
knowing that today
might be the last day.
I ever see your happy smile
but in my heart I know that I will see you again
except right now
I feel like my life is going to end.
I will put on a happy face
so that you cannot see my sadness
because hiding sadness is what I do best.
As we hug our last hug
I hold back all my tears and try to smile
and you can see me struggle and say it is ok to cry
but you do not know a part of me just died.
Now you turn your back and walk away
and as a single tear rolls down my face
you turn back to say I love you
I cry the hardest I ever have
as I see you walk away
but in my heart I know I will see you again someday.
Missing you @ 1/24/2010 12:36:00 PM
BlahBlahBlah ~Now the time has come. I put two bullets in my gun. One for me, and one for you. Oh darling, it will be so beautiful. It is hard to tell of happiness. Time goes by and we feel safe soon. If there is one thing
That irritates me to the point of screaming
It is my inability to remember what on earth
I've been dreaming.
When I wake up my dream is as clear
As a colour print of it.
Two seconds later my mind has slipped out of gear
And I can't remember a hint of it
Although I'm sure it was all vivid and delightful
And recalling it would make me more aware and insightful.
Chances of dreamtime romances I am determined to take
Since I do not get many offers by staying awake.
Missing you @ 1/15/2010 08:24:00 PM
Useless for everything. Hopeless guyy ever.I am someone that can't do everything well. And I walked past a dead face even though the person was alive. I saw my eyes in the mirror and cried at the sight. I looked at a person I didn't know and I met a friend. I got heads to turn when I walked past. I learned a lot about myself when I lost a new friend. I cried every tear in my body when I thought about love. I got hit bad then got back in the ring. I climbed a mountain of rocks and saw an eagle fly over my head. I heard terrible things about myself when no one thought I was listening. I realized I was somehow strong when I didn't cry when it hurt evertimes. I found out who I was when I was with someone else. I thought I was lost forever when a friend found me. I held a life in my hand and it was my own. I was a pawn in someone else's game, so I surrendered to a brook. I walked the fine line between surviving and not wanting to survive. So I still am, I am someone who no hope on it.
Take me to your heart. Show me where to start. Let me play the part of your first love.
Missing you @ 1/09/2010 07:54:00 PM
It is love, not reason, that is stronger than death.The pain you have, I will heal,
anything you want, I can deal.
I can make you happy, I can make you sad,
but anything you do will never be bad.
Words of hate we're said
And now we have to go.
Part our separate ways
Because the love of yesterday
Will never be the same.
Time and time again
I promise not to care.
I lie, say I'll move on
That I wish you better luck
But I lie to you and myself.
Somehow I do wish we hadn't whether.
There's pain in my heart
that won’t let me live.
There's pain in my life
only you can relief.
I'm so glad it was you
that stayed by my side.
You know and I know that
our love will never die.
Our love will always come through.
It's like a dream come true....
Missing you @ 1/09/2010 10:27:00 AM
ChancesI'm so sad and depressed
Is all I want to do is rest
I go to sleep at night
But my dreams I just can't fight
I think of you lying in that bed
And wonder if there is anything I could have said
I wish you were still here
But I know that you are still near
I love you more than you know
I just wish you didn't have to go
I just want one more day with you
And I know thats what you would have wanted too
I miss you more and more each day
There is so much more we had to say
I know I will see you again
But my life is just started to begin.
Is there such a thing as love at first sight?
That's the question I used to ask
Until I laid eyes on you.
How is it possible to feel so much for a
stranger, a passerby?
Love has no limits, no color, no time.
That's when I realized I had fallen in love.
Love at first sight.
Missing you @ 1/02/2010 12:40:00 PM
Stay as One Heart, One Love, And Forever ~I'll give you my heart, I'll open it up, Will you listen to its small still voice? For soft and quiet my heart will speak To the one I'll call my girlfriend. Did you hear it dear? Did you listen well? Do you understand what it said? For deep is the love that it speaks to you, Deep as the rose is red. So now or sooner, take my heart and treat it well And forever in this life, Come walk with me, your hand in mine, The one I'll call my wife. If there's one face I want to see, so beautiful, so true, one smile that makes a difference to everything I do. If there's one touch I long to feel, one voice I long to hear, Whenever I am happy, or just needing someone near. If there's one joy, one love, from which I never want to part, it's you, my very special love, my world, my life, my heart...
Missing you @ 1/01/2010 12:37:00 PM
