Once beloved! Now regret! Later forget!I'm back. Malaysia trip were fine. Was sick for 2 days. Went genting, very cold. Quite bored yea. The next few days went shopping. Buy things, pants and shirt. Hmmm.... Lazy to write about the trip, so ya Stop here.
Remember ....
As I walk through life,
I look at all I have done,
And I regret everything I done wrong.
I had wandered aimlessly,
And wondered what I have become.
I have been through so much,
It is amazing I made it through.
The lessons I have learned,
I am shocked I pulled through.
The times I wondered
What life was all about.
The trials experienced in life,
Can make all the good come out.
I try to make it day by day.
Remembering what I was taught.
Just remember some time to pray,
It is important, I need it every day.
Life can be short. Unexpected at that.
I try to take its punches, Just hoping it won't break me back.
Remember who you are, Who you want to become.
Everything will fall into place, When the time comes.
Don't forget I love you's, Every chance you get.
The time maybe short, There is no time to regret.
Life can be exciting, As we all have found out.
Eventful, even busy, There is no time to be left out.
Remember who you are, And Who you want to become.
The time can be short. Don't leave things undone.
Remember your families, They are the only ones you've got.
To carry you in times of need. They can not be bought.
Remember they love you, Either here or there.
They will always be with us.
Help for things to bear....
Missing you @ 11/30/2009 09:14:00 PM
MemoriesMemories flowing in my head,
Sometimes makes me feel dead.
Crushed in the heart, But needs to start,
Forgetting the bad times
That happened in the past.
But some memories don't last.
Just pray, that today, The bad memories go away.
I sit and I wait till the day that I may see you again
Till the day you return so that our everlasting love may begin
I wait and I wait because I know you will come
And my forever lasting wait will be done.
And now I sit inside my glass prison
Screaming to be let free
But all my efforts are in vain
You can't even hear me.
Look into my tear stained eyes
And tell me what you see
Am I so completely dead to you
That you don't even see me?
My screams have been silenced
My tears have been dried
As I lay upon the earth
And let this life subside.
Let the dark consume the soul
Pass into eternity
Thus the ending of this life
Of this forgotten sanity.
Missing you @ 11/24/2009 03:20:00 PM
You were never know how I feel.Even I tell you the reason now, Would you care? Or rather you just say you don't believe me. I don't know. How you feel, how you think, ya I never know. Trust before so much, Now it seem to be so different. Others are important then me, I know. What they said, they asked I don't really care. But in my heart still, The pain it hurts so much that you never ever thought. Last time and until now, I still feel so important because i trust you, the words that you said before, are still in my mind. Is just that the person is gone. I Lose it. The heart was all along there. I know myself more then anyone do and you all should not comment's who am i, what i done. Its okay to do that. Its all over, Blames all put on me, I think i can solve it by myself?! I now than know what is trust. Even the closest one, can betrayed it. Giving a chance, it's look like nothing. I have feeling as you all have too. I can't tell what problems i facing now. And now, I tell you, You won't understand me now and ever. And i said forever, I break the promise. Ya I'm sorry. I being force. You won't know what problems i face everyday. Each day, I breaking down. nvm. I just want you to know, I'm always by your side. 5 days count down, the day that i going to celebrate, but now, no use. As i won't be in Singapore. Don't know whether want to buy things for... Hope you are happy. I think i can only do is open the book and read through... What is love? "To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."
Missing you @ 11/24/2009 02:16:00 PM
Already gone and gone forever.I'm back. Nothing to do, Continue blogging. Maybe post some thing. Things happened so fast, really fast. I don't like it. But i had to choose one of them. The main reason is, you all don't know. nvm. Put all the blame on me, I like it. I solve it by myself. I can feel how sad a person are, and I'm really down. I like the way i doing now. It's all about sadness. / When you look at me, do you even see me. I'm always there but you don't seem to care. Am I nothing to you now? Do I have any time at all? People say what they say, they talk about me, I act like I don't care but in reality, I care a lot. You never seem to mind that I'm dying, dying from all the pain in my heart. I love the rain because you can't tell I'm crying, I'm crying skipping, laughing, smiling. It's all because of you. I'm crying because it hurts that you don't even care. I'm skipping because I want to see If I can fly to you. I'm laughing the pain I feel in my heart. I'm smiling because I remember all the memories of you and me. You see me now, but I don't really care. I'm just glad your here, one last night, one last breath. I take it all tonight, you wrap me in your arms and say you love me the last word. I wanted to here all my life now, it's coming to an end but... then I remember it's all just a dream. It's all just make believe that will never happen because your already gone and it's too late. I'm already dead there's no one here tonight, the next morning. I'll still be dead and you'll be gone so far away. And i left the world with nothing.
Missing you @ 11/24/2009 12:23:00 AM
Not going to post for months. Maybe my blog is dead.
Missing you @ 11/19/2009 11:26:00 PM
No mood!Yea, It happened again. Must face everything now... Sadness bring me into another life. Can't really describe What i am now, Doing nothing too. Feeling useless and just want to stop what I am doing now. )': It hurt every time, Have to settle fast. :x Ask me to use to it? I don't know i can anot. Please cheer up. Seeing you like that only making yourself more sad. I'm just worry about you. If there's a way to make you happy, I willing to try everything. Each day passing by, I dont feel like doing anything and just wait. Losing you like lost a heart. You are my everything, It hard to forget you! )'; Every new beginning, comes from some beginnings end. Every time you kill me, I am born again. Every time you close that door, Another door is opened. And every time you say goodbye, a different word is spoken. Every time you look at me, my back is facing you, And every time you ask to see me, I'll have something else to do. Every time I join your game, You're not playing fair, And every time I really love you, I pretend that I don't care.
Missing you @ 11/12/2009 12:05:00 PM
What to do? Just feel and hurt?If tommorow comes and the coffee isn't made,
would anyone notice that I wasn't here.
If you go to get a shirt and find it isn't clean,
would you just think that I was being mean?
Would you check out the window to see if i was here,
or would you just think that I was somewhere near?
And when dinner was not on time,
would you look for me to tell me,
you just committed a crime!
And when you had to cook for yourself,
would you wonder why i'm not on time.
Then the next day comes and you find I'm still not here,
would you shed a tear?
Would you ask yourself, maybe I should have called him more.
Or would you just say, he's probably at the store.
And when you finally see that I'm gone for good,
would you miss me or wonder why I left?
Nobody ever notices, until it's too late
then it's the tears that make you hurt so bad.
For you knew this day would come,
yet you never prepared.
I say that she knew I loved her,
but did she really?
[ME]
Did you pick up the phone when she needed you,
or were you just too busy to listen to her pain?
Were you ever proud of her,
did you tell her?
Or did you say, she knew I loved her.
I'm just useless for her,
Cant do anything for her when she get hurt.
Sometime still attitude her, and make her cried.
What the hell I wants? Maybe I'm too sensitive.
I'm sorry for everything that i done wrong, and
I can leave you if you really want to because,
I don't want to hurt you anymore...
Missing you @ 11/08/2009 11:21:00 AM
I hate myself!...hate......... hate
...hate......... hate
...hate...hate.hate
...hate...hate.hate
...hate......... hate
...hate......... hate
...
................hate
..........hate.....hate
........hate.........hate
.....hate..............hate
.....hate.hate.hate.hate
...hate...................hate
...hate....................hate
...hate....................hate
...hate.hate.hate.hate.hate
...hate.hate.hate.hate.hate
................hate..........
................hate..........
................hate..........
................hate..........
...
...hate.hate.hate.hate.
...hate.hate.hate.hate.
...hate
...hate.hate
...hate.hate
...hate
...hate.hate.hate.hate.
...hate.hate.hate.hate.
...
MYSELF
Missing you @ 11/08/2009 01:20:00 AM
Regretted!Do you all happy now that i choose basketball and give up that i love the most?! =.-
You only see what I choose to show, But there is a lot that you don't know. I regret a lot because I knew, Just how wrong they were to do. It was really stupid and now I suffer. From all the things I used to cover. I let it out 'cause I thought it was right, But all it gave me was a lot of fright. Some people know and others don't. All the other people always won't!
Why did I decide to change the course of my life? I was impatient and naive that I let people take advantage of me. My life has turned up side down and now it is crashing down. I thought I could find love and hold it, blindly I went for it. And tried to hold on to someone I felt the same. But only cause myself heartache and pain, because somebody keep blocking our way. I gave all that I had my mind and body and soul. For what, only to be told that I was the one she wanted to hold. That I was just someone she could control. You don’t know what that has done to me. How stupid am I that I cry and cry. Cry out why? Why? Then I am reminded of the choices I had made. Those choices have changed my life completely. I have done this to myself. No one is to blame. I thought if I ignored the pain. The pain would go away and things would change. But I was wrong things have changed. I do not feel the same. For what was once love has turned to hate, but i wont easily give up my love for her. And now I must make my escape because someone keep forcing me to do that. Basketball! Suck it. Force me to no end, I tell you, How hard you all had tried, There always no change. I will love her forever. I meant it! <3>
Missing you @ 11/06/2009 01:11:00 PM
Do you know what I really want?Alone,
Alone starring at this walls thinking about a reason why,
Why everyone I cared for seamed to slip away from me?
I was me all the time gave them comfort when no one else could
Listen when no one else did.
Still,
Not good enough, Maybe it’s just me
Am I silly? I’m young I know
But even though I feel like I’m doing something wrong.
Why can’t anybody tell me how to be? Or what I do wrong?
Cause even I need love, I Don’t care about money or fame
I want the real thing, Real love, Unbeatable love!
That is my only wish.
Love me for who I am, And never take me for granted,
If not both were ended up with pain and hard life.
Maybe it just for me but not you? Who knows?
And I promise I do my best to give you heaven.
Missing you @ 11/02/2009 09:48:00 AM
